so i almost gave in last night. i dont know why i just had this urge. i needed to self harm. i needed to cut my skin and see the blood. it was to the point where i was trying to take the blades out of a pencil sharpener. if i was able to get them out then i wouldve relapsed. im kinda happy i wasnt able to take them apart but then again i am kinda sad. i was numb last night. i couldnt emotionally feel. i wanted to feel something, anything. i wasnt depressed or sad... i wasnt anything. i was nothing. i am nothing. im not important to anyone or anything. im useless to this world. why am i even alive at the moment. if i disappeared most likely no one would notice.
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ill talk to you guys later.
not your average teen
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