good day

so today was a good day. i was able to get the alcohol and give it to anthony. also anthony and i went to the mall i got a new hipster phone case, a pair of leggings, and nose rings. im gonna try to pierce my own nose! praying that it goes well. lollz so that party for new years tomorrow and i think anthony is going to spend the night <3 im kinda excited for tomorrow night .. thats an actual first.

still so much on my mind

So i just got back from an all day volleyball tournament. it went well we got third place and went 3-2 ! not to shabby for our first tournament. after we lost our last game we had to work and i really opened up to one of my team mates. like i told her about how i did drugs and  drank alcohol and also how i self harmed myself. thankfully she didnt judge me because she has done the same things and self harmed also! but i guess its the fact talking about it brought back bad memories. sometimes i miss cutting my skin and seeing the blood. eventually having those scars. im sad the scars on my thighs are fading. i dont want them to go away. i dont know what to do anymore!! someone please help me !

two long stressful days

so i just laid down from two long stressful days. i just got back from a two all day wrestling tournament. it was hell. not only was i sick but also the other manager was being a total bitch. like i didnt even do anything wrong, she was flipping the fuck out for no reason! ughh !! it pisses me off so much! i miss my boyfriend OH! and tomorrow i have an all day volleyball tournament tomorrow
god i just need sleep !

it will all blow up

have you ever had to hold all your emotion in? its not good at all ! it will eventually all blow up and bite you in the ass. yeah  that happened to me today. with my mom . i try to hold my emotions in so i can just make everyone happy but you know it just makes it worse. and i never learn my lesson from it. people tell me hit a pillow or write it all down. that will help it all. welp it doesnt. self harm seemed to have helped me for a while but its not good for me. and people judge and that will just make everything worse. ive finally got over that damn addicting. it was so difficult ! but im happy i made it. yes i still have the scars and they haunt me sometimes but i know in the end it means that i have made it. and that make me happy.

about me

welp this is my first post and im just getting used to opening up to the internet with my story. din this blog ill just be telling my average day. what happened and what effect it had on me . i hope you like it